Jan. 28, 2026

Mini Episode: From Pumps To Peace: Choosing What Works For Your Baby And You

Mini Episode: From Pumps To Peace: Choosing What Works For Your Baby And You

Send us a text The first days of feeding a newborn can feel like a test you didn’t study for: alarms go off every two hours, pumps take over your counter, and every ounce feels like a verdict. We open up about low milk supply, the pull to “keep trying,” and the quiet relief that comes from choosing what actually works for your baby and your life. No shaming, no perfect-parent script—just honest stories and practical paths forward. We dig into the real costs of chasing a plan that doesn’t fit...

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Send us a text

The first days of feeding a newborn can feel like a test you didn’t study for: alarms go off every two hours, pumps take over your counter, and every ounce feels like a verdict. We open up about low milk supply, the pull to “keep trying,” and the quiet relief that comes from choosing what actually works for your baby and your life. No shaming, no perfect-parent script—just honest stories and practical paths forward.

We dig into the real costs of chasing a plan that doesn’t fit: hours spent researching pumps and flanges, returning to shift work with a cooler bag in hand, and the mental math of leaving tables to pump in cramped back offices. There’s room here for the science and the context. Breast milk has well-documented benefits, yes, and there are safe, tested alternatives when your body says not today. We talk donor milk banks, how formula has evolved, and why cow’s milk shouldn’t replace breast milk or formula before age one. Along the way we unpack the long, messy history of feeding trends and remind ourselves that pressure often hides behind the word “support.”

The heart of the conversation is a mindset shift: do the best you can with the resources you have right now and let that be perfect. That means asking your pediatrician for alternatives if advice doesn’t fit your reality. It means measuring success by a fed baby, a calmer home, and a parent who still feels like a person. You’re not required to carry a story about what would have happened 200 years ago. You are allowed to choose the option that keeps your family steady today.

If this resonates, follow the show, share it with a friend who needs a kinder take on newborn feeding, and leave a quick review to help more parents find us. Your stories help others breathe easier—what choice brought you peace?

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Medical Disclaimer:
This podcast is intended as a safe space for women to share their birth experiences. It is not intended to provide medical advice. Each woman’s medical course of action is individual and may not appropriately transfer to another similar situation. Please speak to your medical provider before making any medical decisions. Additionally, it is important to keep in mind that evidence based practice evolves as our knowledge of science improves. To the best of my ability I will attempt to present the most current ACOG and AWHONN recommendations at the time the podcast is recorded, but that may not necessarily reflect the best practices at the time the podcast is heard. Additionally, guests sharing their stories have the right to autonomy in their medical decisions, and may share their choice to go against current practice recommendations. I intend to hold space for people to share their decisions. I will attempt to share the current recommendations so that my audience is informed, but it is up to each individual to choose what is best for them.

00:00 - When Breastfeeding Is Hard

01:02 - Shifting To A Self-Compassion Mindset

01:41 - Pumping Gear, Costs, And Pressure

02:22 - Work Realities And Setting Limits

03:28 - Wanting Connection Despite Low Supply

03:51 - History, Alternatives, And Donor Milk

05:08 - Trends, Expectations, And Mom Guilt

05:40 - Partnering With Pediatricians

06:12 - Defining “Best” In The Moment

WEBVTT

00:00:28.660 --> 00:00:31.780
Breastfeeding was very, very, very hard.

00:00:34.420 --> 00:00:36.100
I tried for three months.

00:00:36.579 --> 00:00:43.380
And it's with Caseen, I still was not able to produce a lot, but I gave him what I could.

00:00:43.939 --> 00:00:52.260
But I went at it at a very different mindset of I'm gonna do my best with what I can do, and that is perfect.

00:00:54.179 --> 00:00:54.500
Right.

00:00:54.659 --> 00:00:56.500
And that's the mindset we all need.

00:00:56.739 --> 00:00:57.060
Yes.

00:00:57.379 --> 00:01:04.900
I mean, if anything I could give some a mom mindset going into the first time, it's you're gonna do the best that you can, and that is perfect.

00:01:05.140 --> 00:01:05.539
Yes.

00:01:05.700 --> 00:01:08.659
And so with Case in, I was like, okay, I'm good.

00:01:08.740 --> 00:01:09.219
We're done.

00:01:09.299 --> 00:01:13.060
And I think for him, it was like a month that I tried.

00:01:13.219 --> 00:01:19.140
But with Kylie, she was either strapped to my boob trying to feed her, or I had the pumps in.

00:01:19.780 --> 00:01:24.180
And we spent, I mean, you know, doing the research on the breast pumps.

00:01:24.259 --> 00:01:28.659
Like I got the Spectra or whatever it was from the insurance company.

00:01:28.819 --> 00:01:32.340
But then okay, maybe we get new flanges that fit my boobs better.

00:01:32.579 --> 00:01:38.739
And maybe, oh, maybe if we get the Hoka, that's just like it just squeezes it out based off assumption.

00:01:38.900 --> 00:01:47.540
Or so I mean, we spent, I was like, oh, they have this new one that like, I don't know, like we spent so much money in time.

00:01:47.700 --> 00:01:53.379
I spent so much time on that to try to get it because I thought it was what was supposed to happen.

00:01:54.260 --> 00:02:01.219
And like I said, in the hospital, they were very adamant about you should keep trying to breastfeed, you should keep trying to do this.

00:02:01.299 --> 00:02:06.500
But then it got to the point, especially with me having to go back to work, I was like, it's not, it's not working.

00:02:06.739 --> 00:02:11.860
This is, I'm not gonna be in the restaurant and pump for every two hours.

00:02:11.939 --> 00:02:16.500
I have to leave my tables to go pump for 20 minutes each side.

00:02:16.659 --> 00:02:16.980
Yeah.

00:02:17.219 --> 00:02:21.139
And so when I went back to work, I think I did it for like a week and I was like, I'm out.

00:02:21.379 --> 00:02:23.139
This is I'm yeah.

00:02:23.219 --> 00:02:24.659
And were you in the bathroom doing that?

00:02:24.900 --> 00:02:26.340
No, they let me go to the office.

00:02:26.500 --> 00:02:27.300
Oh, that's nice.

00:02:27.459 --> 00:02:29.780
Yeah, I was really good friends with management.

00:02:29.939 --> 00:02:32.900
They did have a camera in the office, but there was like one, no, no, no, no.

00:02:32.980 --> 00:02:34.900
There was one corner that nothing saw.

00:02:35.060 --> 00:02:36.019
It was right by the door.

00:02:36.099 --> 00:02:39.860
So they put like a screen over the window.

00:02:40.259 --> 00:02:45.620
And then, you know, there'd only be two people with keys at any time in the restaurant.

00:02:45.699 --> 00:02:48.500
And I was one of them because I would manage for them sometimes.

00:02:48.740 --> 00:02:50.580
So they're like, whenever you need to go, just go.

00:02:50.740 --> 00:02:53.780
So they were very supportive of what I wanted to do.

00:02:54.020 --> 00:03:00.259
But like I said, after it was after like a few shifts, and I was like, Yeah, so done.

00:03:00.580 --> 00:03:07.060
But I wanted, I wanted that connection with Kylie, and I wanted to give her what she needed.

00:03:07.219 --> 00:03:16.419
And I do believe that I mean, obviously with the studies, it shows it's true, but breast milk is amazing for the kids, and I wanted to give that to her.

00:03:16.819 --> 00:03:21.219
Um, and my body was just like, no, you can have a little bit, but not a lot.

00:03:21.379 --> 00:03:22.979
Yeah, I had the same feeling.

00:03:23.139 --> 00:03:33.780
And the the truth is, I don't want to gloss over the dark history of breastfeeding and wet nurses and all that, but in the past, that's why we've had alternatives, right?

00:03:33.939 --> 00:03:42.979
So in my head, I thought, and this is what I told myself if it were 200 years ago and I weren't able to breastfeed my baby, she would die.

00:03:43.060 --> 00:03:47.060
That was what was playing in my head when I was determined to breastfeed.

00:03:47.300 --> 00:03:54.180
The truth is there are other humans out there or animals that can breastfeed your baby.

00:03:54.419 --> 00:03:59.939
And I'm not advocating for going out and finding another human to do it.

00:04:00.099 --> 00:04:02.740
If that's what you want to do, that's that's fine.

00:04:02.979 --> 00:04:11.699
We have a lot of options now, like we have donor banks where the milk has been pasteurized, tested, all of that stuff.

00:04:11.860 --> 00:04:14.500
Cow's milk isn't equivalent to breast milk.

00:04:14.659 --> 00:04:20.340
So if you're thinking about replacing breast milk with cow's milk, don't do it until your baby's a year old.

00:04:20.580 --> 00:04:23.939
But 200 years ago, there were other options.

00:04:24.340 --> 00:04:35.460
I know my mom told me that her mom used, I think, barley to make some sort of formula for her because she couldn't breastfeed, or it was frowned upon back then.

00:04:35.539 --> 00:04:39.460
I don't even know because there's been so many different trends in feeding babies.

00:04:39.539 --> 00:04:39.939
Right.

00:04:40.180 --> 00:04:44.899
So, and also back when your mom was feeding you, the trend was definitely not breastfeeding.

00:04:44.980 --> 00:04:46.819
That was when formula was the thing, right?

00:04:46.899 --> 00:04:48.660
And so there was no support.

00:04:48.819 --> 00:04:52.579
And there's so much expectation on moms and the rules change all the time.

00:04:52.740 --> 00:04:52.899
Yeah.

00:04:53.060 --> 00:05:00.019
So if you are trying to fit into the societal mold that you're seeing today, I want to absolve you of that because it's a trend.

00:05:00.100 --> 00:05:01.220
That's all it is right now.

00:05:01.459 --> 00:05:09.620
We get the information that we get from the sources we get, and then we interpret that information and we share it, and then moms are told that they should follow that.

00:05:09.779 --> 00:05:12.180
And truthfully, moms need to do what they need to do.

00:05:12.339 --> 00:05:24.100
They need to figure out what's best for them and their family and figure out what works for them and then move on and not worry about what society is saying and sure, go to the pediatrician, make sure your baby's healthy.

00:05:24.180 --> 00:05:24.339
Right.

00:05:24.579 --> 00:05:26.100
And listen to the pediatrician.

00:05:26.259 --> 00:05:31.699
But also, if you're talking to your pediatrician and something just doesn't feel right for you, ask for alternatives.

00:05:31.860 --> 00:05:32.500
They can help you.

00:05:32.660 --> 00:05:34.100
And it doesn't need to mean anything.

00:05:34.180 --> 00:05:40.500
You don't need to create an entire story around like I did, you know, like my baby would have died 200 years ago.

00:05:40.660 --> 00:05:42.980
Don't do that to yourself because it's probably not true.

00:05:43.139 --> 00:05:44.579
You probably don't have enough information.

00:05:44.819 --> 00:05:51.300
Do what's best for you right now, given the circumstances you have right now, and let that be the best that you can do.

00:05:51.459 --> 00:05:56.100
Because your job is to be the best mother, human being for your baby.

00:05:56.259 --> 00:05:59.379
And it doesn't just mean you give them the perfect food.

00:05:59.459 --> 00:06:01.779
It doesn't just mean that you have the perfect delivery.

00:06:01.939 --> 00:06:04.339
You do the best you can in the moment and you move on.

00:06:04.420 --> 00:06:18.259
And you know that the decision that you made, the the resources that you had at that moment, the emotional energy that you had in that moment, the physical energy you had in that moment, that you did the best thing that you could in that moment for you and your baby, and then you move on.

00:06:18.500 --> 00:06:19.300
Well said.