June 29, 2025
Embracing the Unexpected: Alex Wachelka's Third Birth Journey
Send us a text When Alex Wachelka predicted her third baby would arrive on December 15th—despite professionals insisting otherwise—her intuition was right. But the path to that moment wasn’t easy. After two very different births—one at a birth center and one rapid home birth—Alex expected another fast delivery. Instead, she faced twelve hours of annoying, spaced-out contractions that woke her up every 10 minutes. It wasn’t until she voiced her frustration to her husband that everything shifte...
When Alex Wachelka predicted her third baby would arrive on December 15th—despite professionals insisting otherwise—her intuition was right. But the path to that moment wasn’t easy.
After two very different births—one at a birth center and one rapid home birth—Alex expected another fast delivery. Instead, she faced twelve hours of annoying, spaced-out contractions that woke her up every 10 minutes. It wasn’t until she voiced her frustration to her husband that everything shifted. In releasing her fears and feeling truly supported, her labor transformed—and her baby arrived just one hour later, exactly on the date she predicted.
In this episode, Alex shares her third birth story and how it deepened her belief in the mind-body connection. She also talks about her work as an IBCLC and certified nutrition coach, helping moms with everything from breastfeeding challenges to postpartum recovery through programs like her “Boob Ease” mastitis support and “Baby’s First Year” coaching.
Whether you’re preparing for birth or navigating motherhood, this conversation is a powerful reminder to trust your body, trust your instincts, and lean into support.
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Medical Disclaimer:
This podcast is intended as a safe space for women to share their birth experiences. It is not intended to provide medical advice. Each woman’s medical course of action is individual and may not appropriately transfer to another similar situation. Please speak to your medical provider before making any medical decisions. Additionally, it is important to keep in mind that evidence based practice evolves as our knowledge of science improves. To the best of my ability I will attempt to present the most current ACOG and AWHONN recommendations at the time the podcast is recorded, but that may not necessarily reflect the best practices at the time the podcast is heard. Additionally, guests sharing their stories have the right to autonomy in their medical decisions, and may share their choice to go against current practice recommendations. I intend to hold space for people to share their decisions. I will attempt to share the current recommendations so that my audience is informed, but it is up to each individual to choose what is best for them.
00:00 - Welcoming Back Alex Wichelka
02:16 - The Beginning of the Labor Journey
05:55 - Labor Intensifies: The Turning Point
09:58 - The Birth Moment: Meeting Baby Boy
17:11 - Releasing Fears for Natural Birth
24:00 - When Kids Meet Childbirth
32:41 - Nutrition Meets Lactation Consulting
42:15 - New Programs for Supporting Moms
49:30 - Final Thoughts and Community Information
WEBVTT
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Hello, today I'm so excited to welcome back my friend, business partner and fellow mom advocate, alex Wichelka.
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Alex is now a mom of three, an international board-certified lactation consultant and a certified nutrition coach.
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Her passion for supporting moms began after the birth of her first baby and has only grown stronger with each birth experience.
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And has only grown stronger with each birth experience.
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In this episode, alex shares the raw, real and beautiful stories of how her third child entered the world and how those experiences shaped her calling to walk alongside other moms in their own journeys.
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Alex and I partnered together to bring moms trusted nutritional support inside our Bump and Beyond online community, where we focus on empowering moms and moms-to-be with resources that nourish both body and mind.
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If you'd like to work with Alex or learn more about her services, visit motherhoodbloomslactationcom.
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Hi Alex, welcome and thank you so much for joining me today.
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Thank you, kelly, I'm excited to be here.
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I'm super excited to hear this birth story because I haven't heard the full story and I was listening to the episode that we did a couple years ago.
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Was it already?
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Yes, wow, yeah, season one, episode two, where you share your first two birth stories.
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So, just to recap, you can go back and listen to the whole thing.
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But your first birth was at the birth center and the second birth was at home and it was a precipitous labor and the midwife barely got there on time.
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Yeah, to the point where the midwife said, hey, probably ought to have the next birth at home as well, because you won't have time to get to the hospital.
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How'd that prediction go?
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So it was the complete opposite.
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It was a very long labor, a very different birth than what I had experienced before.
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So his due date was December the 9th and I had an appointment scheduled for December the 10th and I was like I'll see you next week, like I'll see you when, because I knew I was like I don't think he's coming on the 9th.
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And so when I went in on the 10th, they had offered me the opportunity for a stretch and sweep.
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And because I did want to have a home birth and we had the conversation of, like the pros and the cons and you know, wanting to have that, that home birth, it felt like a good decision for me.
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So I thought let's do the membrane sweep.
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And when the midwife did that, I found out I was only two centimeters dilated, barely like not a face, no cervical changes, and I was like, well, okay, I know he's not coming out anyways.
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Um, I just had this feeling that it was going to be another week after.
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But she did it anyways, or just as best as she could, and I just went on my way.
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I had no cramping, no, like literally no discharge, experienced nothing from that stretch and sweep.
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And so by Wednesday, thursday they had let me know actually when I left that appointment, like they'll try and give me a call, try and get me in for a second sweep if I wanted it, because we had already had the post-dates ultrasounds booked for December 16th and I was hoping I didn't get to that point.
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And so I had a prescription from my naturopath for some things to just support my body through the process, and I was noticing by the Thursday, friday, I was starting to now lose some of the mucus plug and I was like, okay, like we're progressing here.
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And so at this point it's Saturday, saturday morning, and I'm talking to my husband and we're like the kids, should we get them out of the house, like the older two, I just had this feeling that he was coming on December 15th, so the due date was the 9th, because it's right near Christmas and everyone would ask me about Christmas and I'd be like I'm only going to have a 10 day old.
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And I just had this number of 10 day old in my head and I was like like the 15th feels like the day, and so I was like maybe we should.
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They can go to their grandparents' house, we can have that opportunity for for like the last moment.
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Before you know, we have another newborn in the family and so he was out dropping them off and I get a call from midwives.
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They're like we can see you if you can come in like the next 30 minutes and we can give you another sweep.
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I was like I'm coming, they don't, they're not far from me.
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So I was like I'm coming.
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And so that Saturday afternoon we had another sweep and at that point I was four centimeters dilated and I think it was 65% effaced.
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And they're like this is, you know, totally normal.
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You're a third time mom.
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But there were cervical changes and I was like, okay, I was feeling good about that.
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And then when I got back home I informed my husband and we decided we'll go out for supper and so we're out for dinner.
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And I started to have cramping.
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So this is like six o'clock now and I'm like, okay, it's not contractions, but it's cramping.
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I was like we might be getting progress, things are moving.
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It's really easy to just kind of keep going about my evening because it's just cramps.
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We get home, we're like, okay, let's watch a movie.
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I'm just like rolling around on the birth ball because I'm like this baby is going to be coming soon and it's still cramping.
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Nothing is consistent and it's like 10 o'clock at this point, like you know, we've had our whole evening and I was like, okay, this baby's probably coming.
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It's the 14th already.
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I feel like he's coming on the 15th.
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I need some rest.
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So I said to my husband I'm going to go to bed, she's going to go to the bathroom first.
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I'm going to go upstairs, and when I went to the bathroom this was like 10, 10, 15, I had bloody show.
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So I was like, okay, Like I was so excited because I was like this means the baby is coming soon, hopefully.
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I was like, okay, like I'm going to go lay down and get some rest.
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And by 11 o'clock I'm woken up with a contraction.
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I can talk through it, I can still lay in my bed, but I know that it's a contraction and I was like, okay, like I'm going to try and get some rest now.
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And then by about midnight, I've been having contractions about every 10 minutes.
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By about midnight I've been having contractions about every 10 minutes and they're only about 30 to 45 seconds because I wasn't able to sleep through them.
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So I did start to time them and then I was like OK, they're not that long, they are far apart, there's no rush to do anything right now.
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So I get up to go to the bathroom again and my husband hears me he has not even slept at this point I don't know if it was like nerves or what and so he comes to check on me and I was like this is what's going on.
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My words were we're probably going to have a baby in the next four to five hours.
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He's like okay, so he lays down with me and then it's 1am and two and three and four, and I am still having contractions every 10 minutes and they're lasting 30 to 45 seconds.
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And I was like okay, I've never experienced this before, because with both of them my firstborn, my water broke, just a slow trickle and labor was like 16 hours away.
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And with my second, my waters broke and within 10 minutes I was in hard labor and he came fast.
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So I was like this is really strange.
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I was trying to get as much sleep as I could.
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I was in the shower for a little bit, I made myself some peanut butter toast, I had some things to drink and I just, I just tried to rest.
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But then it's 5am and six and seven and I was like I'm going to call the midwives.
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I didn't want to disturb them Cause I was like I just wanted reassurance.
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So I was like I've never experienced this before, like should I be concerned?
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Like the baby's still moving.
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I was doing kick counts, like everything is fine, and I call her and she's like I told you, and I was like I start laughing because she had said to me that my third could be a wild card, that he, the baby, could come fast, like my second or this baby could take their time.
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I was like okay, and so her recommendations were just have some Gravol, have some Tylenol, try and rest.
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Call us if anything changes.
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So at that point I think I had let my mom know, like hey, since midnight I've basically, you know, been having contractions, but nothing is changing.
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And then I let my mother-in-law know, because she had her older too.
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I was like, can they stay there a little bit longer?
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I'm certain this baby's coming today, but I don't know when.
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And she's like, of course, no problem.
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So then I just tried to lay back down and it was like eight, nine, 10, like continuous every 10 minutes, 30 to 45 seconds.
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And I'm trying to eat as much as I can.
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I don't have a big appetite at this point.
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I'm trying to drink water and stay hydrated, but I am growing mentally fatigued.
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At this point I don't know what is going to happen.
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I don't know what to expect.
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I know I wanted to have this baby at home, but I am, I'm getting tired and I'm trying to keep myself comfortable.
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And it was about noon.
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So now we're 13 hours since that first contraction and I was talking to my husband and I was like I think I'm done.
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I was like I think mentally.
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I was like I was like there's so much in me right now.
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That's like I know I can do this.
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I've given birth to two babies before.
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But there's a part of me that's just like oh my God, just go get me the tiniest little dose of Pitocin and boom, we're in high gear and this baby will come.
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And it was really interesting for me to look back on it because, as I'm saying this, he's watching me and he's watching my body language shift and he now notices that I'm on all fours on the floor and that's like the labor position I choose.
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And he just gets out his phone and he starts to time and he's saying to me Alex, you know you want to have a home birth.
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You can do this.
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What do you need from me?
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I'm here with you and you know that you don't want the Pitocin drip in the hospital.
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And I was like, I know, but I'm just, I was fatigued at that point mentally and it was literally that conversation with him and, like him, noticing that shift in my body language, that next contraction was four minutes and then it was one minute long.
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And then it was four minutes and it was one minute long and I was like, okay, we're finally, the baby is going to be here and he goes.
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I'm not waiting an hour, right, that 4-1-1 rule he's like based on the timing of our second born.
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He's like I'm calling midwives at like 35 or 40 more minutes of this and I was like, okay, I think at this point it was like 30 minutes and he can.
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He's seeing my body language shift and I go, I need to get in the shower, and that's what I've done with the last two.
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When transition hits and he's like I'm calling them, like we are not risking this again.
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And so I managed to make my way into the bathroom and he is on the phone with the midwives and I'm in there, like I'm in the tub.
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I'm on all fours.
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Now I'm having contractions.
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They're every four minutes, they're one minute long, like they're strong and intense and I'm using the water, the hydrotherapy, to help me through it.
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And he's on the phone with them and he's like they said that they can come in 12 minutes.
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I was like, perfect, like they're really near, they're they want to know if you feel any pressure in your bum.
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And in that exact moment I was like right now, like he's like okay, they're coming.
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And so I was like, thankfully, they're only 12 minutes away.
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And so he gets me some juice and I just keep laboring in the shower and the midwives get there and she has the Doppler and she asks cause she can check on baby.
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And baby's doing totally fine and heart rate's good and there's no concerns.
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And she's like okay, I'm going to go get set up.
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So she's down the hall getting set up in the room and I'm just laboring in the tub and I start to feel this weird pressure and I'm saying it's weird because I've never felt it before and it felt like something was stretching and elongating inside me and then boom, my water broke.
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So I think it was the water sack, the bag.
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I like felt it come down almost and then just burst open and my water's released.
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And again, I had never experienced that before.
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It was very different with the other two releasing before and I just shout like my water broke.
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And then there was a little bit of blood in which for me to see that I'm like it didn't look anything unusual.
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I was like this isn't normal.
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But I call out.
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I was like there's blood, like I'm like it's not, because then my husband's like head pops in.
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I'm like it's normal.
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But I'm like get the midwife.
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So she comes in, does another Doppler check, baby's totally fine.
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And she's like okay, where do you want to give birth?
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And I'm like literally on the verge of giving birth to this baby.
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I'm just like I don't know, like wherever.
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She's like, alex, I think we need to get you out of the tub.
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And so, again, I'm not sitting in the tub like planning a water birth.
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I'm on all fours with the shower on my back for pain management.
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Yeah, and she's like we need to get you out of here.
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I'm like, oh my gosh, like this happened with my firstborn.
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I was like, okay, so we wait for the contraction to end.
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She grabs one arm.
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My husband reaches out.
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I like grab his arms and I'm just like fully supported on his body and the two of them.
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She throws a towel over my back, helped me walk down the hall into my bedroom to give birth to the baby, because our tub is just not big Like the bathroom.
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She just it wasn't an ideal spot.
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So we're now at I don't know what time it was, it's sometime after one o'clock.
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He started timing just after 12.
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They were at our house within that hour, but for me this is like 13 hours labor and it's like I'm I'm tired and I'm like on the verge of crowning.
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And they're like, okay, walk down the hall and I get in my room and she's like, okay, do you want to give birth on all all fours?
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Because that's how I was positioned in the tub.
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I was like, yes, she's like okay, awesome.
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So she helps me get up onto the bed and she encourages me to reach up onto my headboard, just so I'm in a bit of a better position.
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And at that point she's literally like you can push, like push however you need to, because, like he's on the verge of coming.
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And so I gave the first push and she's like okay, that was like, that's really great, but I need you to do it harder next time.
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She's like, okay, like I know I can do this.
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And so I gave another one or two pushes and his head was born.
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Wow, and I was like okay, and it was really strange feeling because I could feel him moving.
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So his head's born, but his body's still in the birth canal.
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And he's like, like I was like, is that the midwife Like?
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And literally my midwife goes, oh, this baby's trying to get out.
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And I was like I have never, also never experienced this before.
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And so she says to me, because of the position that I'm in, she's like, okay, this next push, like this baby's coming.
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And I keep saying he, because we had a boy, but we did not know at the time of birth the sex of the baby.
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So she's like need you to push again when?
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When the baby's going to be born, I'm going to pass him through your legs up to your chest.
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So I was like okay, so I'm just holding onto the headboard and she's like okay, you know, push again, however you need to.
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And I gave like another one or two really good pushes and out he comes and I hear her say she something?
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She's like oh, she's here, and I and I think I made this space Cause like I just felt like I was like it's a bully, and I remember looking at my husband, I'm like, wait, what Huh?
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And she like passes the baby up to me and I'm just like, oh my God, like we did it, buddy, like we did it.
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And then I he was like kind of all just consumed with like he's finally here.
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I'm so tired.
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And then the midwife was wanting to kind of suction him a bit and then he was on my chest and then they had taken him because his sounds were not super great, so he had a lot of mucus.
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And then I was like, did you say she what?
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And they're like no, it's a boy.
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Or my husband said it was a boy.
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It's kind of foggy at that point, but it was just like I cannot believe how long this labor was compared to what I had experienced before 12 hours before it finally picked up.
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And then I was at the point of being just so tired.
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Yeah, I feel like there's a trend, there's a thread coming through all of these and I can see the pattern because I talked to you before your birth and I know there were some concerns that were stressing you out and we talked about some of them.
00:15:10.125 --> 00:15:13.543
But I'm going to say the thread that I see and then we can go back and talk about that.
00:15:13.543 --> 00:15:26.663
So what I see is when some of the concerns or the fears were lifted, oxytocin was able, the natural oxytocin was able to come.
00:15:26.663 --> 00:15:29.855
So when you were talking to your husband, you like got the weight off your chest about like I just want to go to the hospital.
00:15:29.855 --> 00:15:34.451
You're like, you released that right, I just want to get the Pitocin germ, I want to get this over with.
00:15:34.451 --> 00:15:35.682
And you felt hurt.
00:15:35.682 --> 00:15:42.102
Not just that, he heard you, you felt hurt and he also understood your true wishes and he verbalized them.
00:15:42.464 --> 00:16:15.269
I imagine you like, because I remember when we talked, when you had that release, and I remember that just like sigh, when the burden of the fear was released, and I could just imagine you in that birth having that like sigh of relief and then suddenly having that long contraction because the cortisol was, you know, offline by then, and then the natural oxytocin was like, okay, here we come, and you had that contraction and it put you in a natural labor, which is all you really needed, it for centimeters.
00:16:15.289 --> 00:16:19.027
You, you know, you just just needed that natural oxytocin.
00:16:19.027 --> 00:16:29.360
And then there was another point he said that he wasn't going to wait an hour to call the midwife, and you said that you needed to go to the shower, and that was the next step.
00:16:29.360 --> 00:16:40.419
Like he recognized the points from the last labor, he also validated your fears and helped you release them by saying I see you and this is possible.
00:16:40.419 --> 00:16:46.952
Yes, we can do these things, these fear responses, like we can go to the hospital and get that Pitocin if that's going to make you feel better.
00:16:46.952 --> 00:16:50.655
But I also believe in you because I've seen you do this and I know this isn't what you want.
00:16:50.655 --> 00:16:57.633
So maybe let's explore the option of continuing, and then, yes, I support you if that doesn't work.
00:16:57.633 --> 00:17:06.770
And to have all of that stress released, I feel like is what ultimately led the labor to be able to continue in the right pattern.
00:17:06.971 --> 00:17:16.189
Yeah, absolutely, because it was a lot of the, when I was saying like one and two and three and four, like, and the hours just kept passing, he was with me and it was just like do you need a drink?
00:17:16.189 --> 00:17:17.010
Like are you okay?
00:17:17.010 --> 00:17:29.229
And that was the sort of extent of like what was going on, like we were both just trying to rest, and I think it was yeah, once I expressed like I just can't do this anymore, it's like I just I'm like part of me wants you to just take me to the hospital.
00:17:29.229 --> 00:17:31.071
And he's like no, I know that's not what you want.
00:17:31.071 --> 00:17:34.135
And then right, then my body's like here we go.
00:17:34.135 --> 00:17:35.897
Yeah, that moment of relief.
00:17:36.218 --> 00:17:46.269
Yeah, so in preparation we talked about a month before your due date.
00:17:46.289 --> 00:17:56.747
I feel like there's a thread among the concerns that you've had and that was feeling safe, so feeling like you can release your fears essentially, and one of the fears that you had was I'm going to need my husband If my kids are dead.
00:17:56.747 --> 00:18:03.278
It's going to be a challenge, and so you did end up going in labor at night, like you anticipated you would.
00:18:03.278 --> 00:18:17.618
But your concern previously was you'd go into labor at night and you'd have this really fast labor where your kids were there and you felt like your husband would be torn between taking care of you and taking care of the kids.
00:18:17.618 --> 00:18:27.459
And do you want to talk about that concern and like what we kind of came up with together to figure out how to release that and make that no longer a fear?
00:18:28.440 --> 00:18:30.867
Yeah, so it was really.
00:18:30.867 --> 00:18:54.933
I mean, the coaching session with you was invaluable because you helped me realize like maybe this isn't a problem at all, maybe it's okay if the kids are home and just having some more resources for me on that, because, yeah, I had a lot of stress around that because my husband has been like my doula in a sense, just because the way that it worked out with my first birth, it just he was so helpful.
00:18:54.933 --> 00:18:57.491
That was like I made him through each of these labors.
00:18:57.491 --> 00:19:05.772
I had a lot of stress around the fact that we had two little kids and they have never seen birth before and I think it's important that they understand birth.
00:19:05.772 --> 00:19:07.227
But part of me was like what are they?
00:19:07.227 --> 00:19:08.349
How are they going to feel?
00:19:08.349 --> 00:19:10.635
Are they just not going to understand?
00:19:10.635 --> 00:19:13.913
Like they're not gonna have any empathy for me and they're just like I need this.
00:19:13.913 --> 00:19:16.917
And so I was like will this cause more stress on me because I won't have my husband?
00:19:16.917 --> 00:19:20.539
And so you really helped me see, first of all, they can be a part of it.
00:19:20.539 --> 00:19:33.150
They could be there, and there was a few options that we can make that happen, and the one that we ended up choosing was to have my oldest, who's five, involved with the sort of labor prep part of things.
00:19:33.230 --> 00:19:36.441
And that mommy helper box is a really amazing idea.
00:19:36.441 --> 00:19:53.627
We just took like a cardboard box and he put construction paper all over it and he like colored on it and I said you know, mommy's going to need some stuff before the baby comes and it's like you know it's a hard work to bring the baby into the world and mommy's going to get really thirsty and kind of hungry and and so he decorated this box for me.
00:19:53.627 --> 00:19:59.838
And then we went shopping together and we got the coconut water and the orange juice and granola bars and he put them in the box.
00:19:59.838 --> 00:20:16.971
And because of just the way that things unfolded and me having that stretch and sweep in the afternoon and kind of just deciding for the weekend to have the children at my in-laws in case the baby were to come, I obviously had the support of my husband and the kids were not home.
00:20:17.511 --> 00:20:25.980
But because of their involvement, when they got home and they met their little brother, one of the first questions was like, did you need the helper box?
00:20:25.980 --> 00:20:33.538
And he saw it on the nightstand beside me and even for that first week or so postpartum he like restocked it for me.
00:20:33.538 --> 00:20:38.113
He's like mommy, do you need any more juice, do you need any more granola bars in there?
00:20:38.113 --> 00:20:43.192
And so I don't think I would have come up with that on my own or even like found it in like a Google search.
00:20:43.192 --> 00:20:57.416
So that was really, really helpful to have that conversation with you and know that, hey, if they are home it's okay, and to have someone else like bring someone else on board so that I could have my husband, but then also have that other plan of like let's get them involved.
00:20:57.557 --> 00:21:44.076
Yeah, and it's not necessarily for everyone and it wasn't necessarily plan A either, and I think a big part of when I'm talking to moms that are about to have a second or third and they're concerned about that, a big part of getting over that is just recognizing that it can be an amazing experience either way and that it just takes a very simple gesture of getting them to focus on how to help, versus getting them to focus on what's going on with you and understanding that you're going to be okay and that you need this space to be able to do this hard work to get their sibling into the world, and that they can be very helpful and they could be an integral part of that.
00:21:44.076 --> 00:21:58.907
And we always want to do it in age appropriate ways, and so for your son's age group, it was very helpful to have snacks, but that every family is different, so the solution would be different for other people.
00:21:58.907 --> 00:22:02.317
But I just I love that that was something that you guys were able to do.
00:22:02.317 --> 00:22:07.169
I think it's adorable that he was able to like decorate the box and go shopping with you, like you took it to another level.
00:22:07.169 --> 00:22:07.810
I love that.
00:22:08.212 --> 00:22:17.837
It's just so beautiful to be able to get your kids involved, because I think as a society lately we have felt like we need to shield our children from what is happening.
00:22:17.837 --> 00:22:27.333
When it's a natural phenomenon, it's not something that should be feared and especially if, in your case, where it's you've done it twice before, it's low risk.
00:22:27.333 --> 00:22:36.369
I mean, I get it if you were in the hospital and you had high risk stuff or you're on medication and there was some concern for your health or the baby's health, maybe that's when we protect them.
00:22:36.369 --> 00:22:43.516
But we've so medicalized birth and gotten to the point where it's something that we need to fear, that we need to protect and shield from that.
00:22:43.516 --> 00:22:49.236
We've forgotten that it can just be an amazing experience if you have your kids involved.
00:22:49.897 --> 00:23:06.065
And honestly, two years ago I probably would not have said that, but since then, interviewing moms that have had beautiful experiences with their children involved and having a couple of really amazing births at the hospital where the kids were there, we don't have to fear that and I think it's so amazing that you had all of that prepared.
00:23:06.065 --> 00:23:20.665
And then I love the thread of those obstacles, those fears that were coming up, where, once you felt seen, heard and safe, you were able to release and allow your natural oxytocin to take over and move forward.
00:23:20.665 --> 00:23:22.410
I also love that you predicted the due date.
00:23:22.711 --> 00:23:23.432
I just had.
00:23:23.432 --> 00:23:36.173
Yeah, so there was based on my cycle, which I know they don't like to go by that his due date was the 13th and I totally understand why they don't accept that as like's the due date.
00:23:36.173 --> 00:23:38.086
But for my cycle it was the 13th.
00:23:38.086 --> 00:23:47.271
The very first ultrasound estimated the due date at the 16th and then, because of how large the baby was, they said, oh no, no, the due date is the 9th.
00:23:47.291 --> 00:23:48.674
I was like.
00:23:48.695 --> 00:23:55.345
That doesn't make sense you just told me the ultrasound says it's the 16th and so the baby was just very long, I guess, at that point.
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