June 15, 2025
Building Your Birth Dream Team: Finding the Right Doula
Send us a text Navigating the search for your perfect birth doula can feel overwhelming. How do you find someone who aligns with your vision, fits your budget, and helps you feel secure during one of life’s most vulnerable moments? Drawing from over a decade of obstetric nursing experience, I’m breaking down everything you need to know about finding the right doula for YOU. This isn’t about trends or checking boxes—it’s about building a support system that honors your unique journey. We’ll st...
Navigating the search for your perfect birth doula can feel overwhelming. How do you find someone who aligns with your vision, fits your budget, and helps you feel secure during one of life’s most vulnerable moments?
Drawing from over a decade of obstetric nursing experience, I’m breaking down everything you need to know about finding the right doula for YOU. This isn’t about trends or checking boxes—it’s about building a support system that honors your unique journey.
We’ll start by clarifying what doulas actually do (and don’t do), and bust a few common myths. Whether you're planning an unmedicated birth, hoping for an epidural, or scheduling a cesarean, doulas support all birth paths—without judgment. They don’t replace your partner or provider—they enhance your whole team.
The key to finding your perfect match is understanding your own needs first. I’ll walk you through powerful reflection questions about the energy you want in your birth space, how you handle stress, and the role you want your partner to play. That clarity becomes your compass during doula interviews.
Worried about cost? I share practical strategies to make doula care more accessible, from payment plans to possible insurance or TRICARE coverage.
Interviewing doulas doesn’t have to feel awkward or scary. I give you thoughtful questions to ask about their approach, their experience with different birth scenarios, and how they work with hospital staff. Plus, I cover key red flags—so you don’t end up with someone pushing their own agenda.
Even if hiring a doula isn’t an option right now, I’ll offer supportive alternatives to help you feel calm and confident walking into birth.
Your birth experience matters. Choosing support that fits you isn’t being picky—it’s powerful. Schedule a free Birth Vision Call at kellyhof.com and let’s talk about creating the empowered experience you deserve.
Coaching offer
Kelly Hof: Labor Nurse + Birth Coach
Basically, I'm your birth bestie! With me as your coach, you will tell fear to take a hike!
Connect with Kelly at kellyhof.com
Join the Bump & Beyond Online Community!
https://www.facebook.com/groups/bumpnbeyond
Grab The Book of Hormones on Amazon!
Medical Disclaimer:
This podcast is intended as a safe space for women to share their birth experiences. It is not intended to provide medical advice. Each woman’s medical course of action is individual and may not appropriately transfer to another similar situation. Please speak to your medical provider before making any medical decisions. Additionally, it is important to keep in mind that evidence based practice evolves as our knowledge of science improves. To the best of my ability I will attempt to present the most current ACOG and AWHONN recommendations at the time the podcast is recorded, but that may not necessarily reflect the best practices at the time the podcast is heard. Additionally, guests sharing their stories have the right to autonomy in their medical decisions, and may share their choice to go against current practice recommendations. I intend to hold space for people to share their decisions. I will attempt to share the current recommendations so that my audience is informed, but it is up to each individual to choose what is best for them.
00:56 - Welcome: Finding the Right Doula
02:33 - What Doulas Actually Do
05:23 - Determining What Support You Need
07:44 - Affording Doula Care: Options and Insurance
14:54 - Interviewing Doulas: Questions to Ask
20:21 - Red Flags and Final Encouragement
22:24 - Birth Support Without a Doula
WEBVTT
00:00:00.140 --> 00:00:02.887
Hey friend, welcome back to the Birth Journeys podcast.
00:00:02.887 --> 00:00:04.152
I'm so glad you're here.
00:00:04.152 --> 00:00:09.651
So today we're talking about something really important how to find the right doula for you.
00:00:09.651 --> 00:00:12.952
And I don't just mean picking the first name that shows up on Google.
00:00:12.952 --> 00:00:19.721
I'm talking about finding someone who fits your personality, your budget, your values and the kind of birth you want to have.
00:00:19.721 --> 00:00:22.847
Someone who makes you feel safe, supported and seen.
00:00:23.288 --> 00:00:26.483
Because, let's be real, birth can be big and overwhelming.
00:00:26.483 --> 00:00:32.384
You might already know you want a little bit more support in the room, but maybe you're thinking how do I even find a doula?
00:00:32.384 --> 00:00:33.628
What should I ask them?
00:00:33.628 --> 00:00:36.481
Can I even afford one and will insurance help?
00:00:36.481 --> 00:00:42.462
And maybe the biggest of all, how do I know if someone is really the right fit for me and my family?
00:00:42.462 --> 00:00:45.106
Well, that's exactly what we're going to talk about today.
00:00:45.106 --> 00:01:01.353
By the end of this episode, you'll know what a doula actually does and what they don't do, how to figure out what kind of support you really want, ways to find a doula who matches your budget and lifestyle, smart questions to ask before you hire one, and how to trust your gut in the process.
00:01:01.353 --> 00:01:10.472
This topic is so close to my heart because I've been an obstetric nurse for over a decade, and I've seen how powerful it is when moms truly feel supported during birth.
00:01:10.472 --> 00:01:28.034
I've also seen how confusing it can be when you're trying to do all the right things but no one tells you how to actually choose the people who will be by your side, and, as a prenatal coach, I help moms get clear on their birth vision and feel confident going into labor, and finding the right doula is a huge part of that.
00:01:28.034 --> 00:01:30.587
So let's take the pressure off and make this simple.
00:01:30.587 --> 00:01:32.305
You don't need to be an expert.
00:01:32.305 --> 00:01:35.087
You just need to know yourself and ask the right questions.
00:01:35.087 --> 00:01:36.790
Ready, let's dive in.
00:01:36.790 --> 00:01:39.147
Okay, what does a doula do?
00:01:39.147 --> 00:01:41.102
Let's break this down.
00:01:41.602 --> 00:01:46.209
If you've been hearing about doulas but still aren't totally sure what their role is, you're not alone.
00:01:46.209 --> 00:01:49.093
Some people think doulas are only for natural births.
00:01:49.093 --> 00:01:58.792
Others worry that hiring a doula means pushing their partner out, and some aren't sure how a doula fits in when you already have a doctor or midwife.
00:01:58.792 --> 00:02:00.115
Let me clear that up for you real quick.
00:02:00.115 --> 00:02:07.674
A doula is a trained professional who supports you emotionally, physically and informationally throughout pregnancy, birth or postpartum.
00:02:07.674 --> 00:02:15.334
They don't do medical procedures and they don't make decisions for you, but their presence can make a huge difference in how confident and cared for you feel.
00:02:15.334 --> 00:02:18.909
There are different kinds of doulas depending on the season you're in.
00:02:19.560 --> 00:02:28.707
Birth doulas are by your side during labor, helping you breathe, change positions, stay calm and feel heard, setting up the room so it makes you feel at home and comfortable.
00:02:28.707 --> 00:02:39.165
Postpartum doulas help you settle into life with your new baby, offering support with feeding, rest, recovery and adjusting to your new, normal Fertility.
00:02:39.165 --> 00:02:41.832
Doulas support you emotionally during the journey to conceive.
00:02:41.832 --> 00:02:47.674
Bereavement doulas walk families through pregnancy or infant loss with tenderness and compassion.
00:02:47.674 --> 00:02:53.628
Now let's talk about what a doula really does during labor, because it's a lot more than most people think.
00:02:54.229 --> 00:02:56.301
Imagine birth as the biggest game of your life.
00:02:56.301 --> 00:02:57.985
You're the one in the arena.
00:02:57.985 --> 00:03:05.740
I'm your coach and I help you prepare in advance, build your mindset and strategy and know what to expect before game day.
00:03:05.740 --> 00:03:09.489
But once you're in it, the doula is right there with you on the field.
00:03:09.489 --> 00:03:14.046
A great doula can be your cheerleader, reminding you that you're doing amazing.
00:03:14.046 --> 00:03:19.229
The water person bringing sips, snacks, cool washcloths whatever helps you keep going.
00:03:19.229 --> 00:03:26.151
A referee protecting your space, slowing things down and making sure your voice is heard if things start moving too fast.
00:03:26.151 --> 00:03:38.492
A translator helping you understand what's happening when emotions run high or medical language gets overwhelming A grounding presence, helping you breathe, focus and feel safe, no matter how birth unfolds.
00:03:39.122 --> 00:03:47.141
And here's the beautiful thing thing Doulas support all birth types.
00:03:47.141 --> 00:03:53.223
Whether you're planning an unmedicated birth, hoping for an epidural scheduling, a c-section, or still figuring it out, a doula supports you, your choices, your voice and your experience.
00:03:53.223 --> 00:03:56.431
They are not there to replace your provider or your partner.
00:03:56.431 --> 00:03:59.165
They're there to enhance your experience.
00:03:59.165 --> 00:04:05.561
They help your partner feel more confident, they complement your care team and they help keep you at the center of it all.
00:04:05.561 --> 00:04:10.531
And I'll say it again because it matters you don't have to qualify for a doula.
00:04:10.531 --> 00:04:13.745
You don't need to be having a certain type of birth.
00:04:13.745 --> 00:04:18.482
If you want compassionate, steady, knowledgeable support, you deserve it.
00:04:19.463 --> 00:04:26.725
So now that you know what a doula does, let's talk about how to figure out what kind of support you actually need and how to find someone who fits.
00:04:26.725 --> 00:04:28.569
Okay, here's the truth.
00:04:28.569 --> 00:04:32.906
Not every doula is going to be the right fit for every mom, and that's okay.
00:04:32.906 --> 00:04:35.497
Finding the right doula is kind of like dating.
00:04:35.497 --> 00:04:38.264
You're not just looking for someone who's available.
00:04:38.264 --> 00:04:44.668
You're looking for someone who gets you Someone who feels like the right match for your personality, your values and your vision for birth.
00:04:44.668 --> 00:04:47.733
So let's slow things down for a second and get really honest.
00:04:48.459 --> 00:04:52.190
Ask yourself what kind of energy do I want in the room during my birth?
00:04:52.190 --> 00:04:59.930
Do I want someone who's quiet and calming, someone upbeat and chatty, someone who knows when to step in and when to give me space?
00:04:59.930 --> 00:05:03.264
How do I like to be supported when I'm overwhelmed?
00:05:03.264 --> 00:05:08.915
Do I like people to rub my back, hold my hand, talk me through it or just sit next to me and breathe with me?
00:05:08.915 --> 00:05:11.987
What role do I want my partner to play?
00:05:11.987 --> 00:05:16.911
Are they all in and excited, nervous, but trying, or totally unsure?
00:05:16.911 --> 00:05:23.425
A good doula can meet your partner where they're at and help them feel confident too, but only if that's something that you want.
00:05:23.425 --> 00:05:26.088
Do I have cultural or spiritual preferences?
00:05:26.088 --> 00:05:27.233
I'd like to be respected.
00:05:27.233 --> 00:05:32.047
Maybe there are certain traditions or beliefs that matter to you during your birth.
00:05:32.047 --> 00:05:34.322
You deserve a doula who honors that.
00:05:34.322 --> 00:05:37.184
Do I want someone who's been through this season of life personally?
00:05:37.814 --> 00:05:39.661
Some moms really want a doula who's a parent.
00:05:39.661 --> 00:05:40.925
Others don't mind.
00:05:40.925 --> 00:05:42.661
There's no right or wrong here.
00:05:42.661 --> 00:05:46.923
It's about what feels good to you, and here's something a lot of moms overlook.
00:05:46.923 --> 00:05:49.403
Think about your communication style.
00:05:49.403 --> 00:05:55.461
Do you want a doula who checks in a lot during pregnancy or someone who just shows up on the big day?
00:05:55.461 --> 00:05:58.026
Do you like texting, phone calls or face-to-face time?
00:05:58.026 --> 00:06:04.538
Are you more of a give-me-all-the-information person or do you just want a few calm reminders and someone to hold space?
00:06:04.538 --> 00:06:12.470
When you get clear on these things before you start your doula search, it becomes way easier to spot someone who aligns with what you need.
00:06:12.470 --> 00:06:26.180
And this is exactly the kind of prep work I do with my prenatal coaching clients, because when you know what you're looking for, you're way less likely to settle or to end up with someone who sounds great on paper but doesn't really vibe with your energy.
00:06:26.841 --> 00:06:32.160
So before we move on to how to find someone who fits your budget and lifestyle, just take a moment to reflect.
00:06:32.160 --> 00:06:37.048
What kind of support do you really want and how will you know when you've found it?
00:06:37.048 --> 00:06:44.800
All right, let's get into something that's on a lot of moms' minds when they're thinking about hiring a doula Can I even afford this?
00:06:44.800 --> 00:06:47.663
If you've thought that you are not alone.
00:06:47.663 --> 00:06:57.684
Doulas are amazing, but they're also an investment, and sometimes it feels like support is only for people with extra room in their budget, but I want to gently shift that idea.
00:06:58.035 --> 00:06:59.341
Yes, doulas can be pricey.
00:06:59.341 --> 00:07:06.528
Some charge anywhere from $800 to $5,000, depending on where they live, how much experience they have and how much care they include.
00:07:06.528 --> 00:07:12.127
But there's also a huge range of options and many doulas really want to make their support accessible.
00:07:12.127 --> 00:07:19.524
The first thing to know even if a doula doesn't advertise flexible pricing, it's always worth asking.
00:07:19.524 --> 00:07:22.012
You can say something like do you offer payment plans or work on a sliding scale?
00:07:22.012 --> 00:07:23.317
And many doulas do.
00:07:23.317 --> 00:07:27.935
They just don't always post it publicly and if the full fee is still out of reach.
00:07:27.935 --> 00:07:35.428
There are amazing doulas in training people who are finishing a certification or offering support at a reduced rate or even for free.
00:07:35.428 --> 00:07:40.206
They're often paired with a mentor and bring so much heart and intention to what they do.
00:07:40.206 --> 00:07:48.189
There are also nonprofit programs and doula collectives, especially in larger cities, that will match you with someone based on your income or needs.
00:07:48.189 --> 00:07:54.237
A quick search with the name of your city and the words doula collective or community doula program can go a long way.
00:07:54.879 --> 00:07:56.101
Now, what about insurance?
00:07:56.101 --> 00:07:56.983
Can it help?
00:07:56.983 --> 00:08:03.168
Maybe, but here's the rule of thumb Never assume anything and always get it in writing.
00:08:03.168 --> 00:08:12.021
If you have private insurance like Aetna or Blue Cross, the best first step is to call the number on the back of your card and say does my plan cover doula services?
00:08:12.021 --> 00:08:14.908
Do I need to choose from an in-network list?
00:08:14.908 --> 00:08:18.425
Can I get reimbursed if I pay a doula out of pocket?
00:08:18.425 --> 00:08:23.968
If they say yes to any of that, ask them to email you the details or upload it to your portal.
00:08:23.968 --> 00:08:29.704
Seriously, have it in writing before you commit to anything, for Medicaid coverage depends on where you live.
00:08:30.014 --> 00:08:33.062
Some states fully cover doulas as part of maternity care.
00:08:33.062 --> 00:08:34.707
Others are still working on it.
00:08:34.707 --> 00:08:40.605
So if you have Medicaid, it's worth calling and asking directly does my state Medicaid program cover doulas?
00:08:40.605 --> 00:08:43.999
Do I need to register or choose someone from a specific list?
00:08:43.999 --> 00:08:50.298
If you're a military family, here's some good news TRICARE does cover doulas in every state.
00:08:50.298 --> 00:08:56.604
You'll just need to make sure your doula is certified and registered with TRICARE and you might need a referral from your provider.
00:08:56.604 --> 00:08:59.440
But once you have that, your doula support should be covered.
00:09:00.042 --> 00:09:04.202
And then there's the question of HSA or FSA, those pre-tax health savings accounts.
00:09:04.202 --> 00:09:07.798
Some people do get reimbursed for doula services through these accounts.
00:09:07.798 --> 00:09:13.456
But here's the deal you absolutely need to ask your HSA or FSA provider directly before counting on it.
00:09:13.456 --> 00:09:16.822
Just call and ask are doula services an eligible expense?
00:09:16.822 --> 00:09:19.817
What documentation do I need to be reimbursed?
00:09:19.817 --> 00:09:21.200
And do I need a letter from my doctor?
00:09:21.200 --> 00:09:24.195
And again, get it in writing, just to be safe?
00:09:24.195 --> 00:09:36.317
Now, if you've heard about UnitedHealthcare's doula pilot program, yes, it's real, but it's only available if you're a UHC customer and in one of their pilot areas.
00:09:36.317 --> 00:09:40.940
So if that's your insurance, give them a call and say I've heard you're covering doula care through a pilot program.
00:09:40.940 --> 00:09:42.082
Is that available to me?
00:09:42.082 --> 00:10:04.268
They'll tell you what's possible and what the next steps are that you need to take One more creative idea, and I love this one Use a service registry to let friends and family gift you support Instead of a fourth swaddle blanket or baby shoes your kid will wear once people can contribute to your doula fund, prenatal coaching sessions or massage, lactation support whatever is actually meaningful for you.
00:10:04.976 --> 00:10:12.479
It's such a beautiful way to invite your community into your care and say, hey, we're building our village and your gift will help us feel truly supported.
00:10:12.479 --> 00:10:14.400
And say, hey, we're building our village and your gift will help us feel truly supported.
00:10:14.400 --> 00:10:22.109
So here's the bottom line yes, support is an investment, but it's also something you deserve and now you have real, doable options to make it happen.
00:10:22.109 --> 00:10:29.677
If that's something you want, all right, let's keep going Up.
00:10:29.677 --> 00:10:39.379
Next, we are going to talk about how to interview a doula and make sure they're the right one for you, a doula, and make sure they're the right one for you.
00:10:39.379 --> 00:10:39.681
Really quick.
00:10:39.721 --> 00:10:41.128
Before we move on, I want to share something really special with you.
00:10:41.128 --> 00:10:49.176
If you're looking for a space where motherhood meets empowerment and where you can discover trusted resources, inspiration and support, I've got a community.
00:10:49.176 --> 00:10:53.967
You need to know about, my Bump and Beyond online community for moms and moms-to-be.
00:10:53.967 --> 00:10:58.166
This is a space where the magic of motherhood meets the empowerment of self-care.
00:10:58.166 --> 00:11:03.147
At Bumpin' Beyond, we celebrate the journey of every bump rocker and post-birth boss.
00:11:03.147 --> 00:11:13.506
You, dear mama, deserve nothing but the best, and that's exactly what this community provides Prepare to be pampered, cherished and showered with all the love and support you deserve.
00:11:13.506 --> 00:11:21.458
Our mission is simple yet powerful to be your one-stop destination for all things self-care, nurturing and indulgence.
00:11:21.458 --> 00:11:24.164
Because, let's face it, you're not just a mom.
00:11:24.164 --> 00:11:26.941
You're a fierce, unstoppable family CEO.
00:11:27.383 --> 00:11:36.370
At Bump and Beyond, I search the nation for moms who are passionate about helping other moms like you become the most successful version of yourself during your motherhood journey.
00:11:36.370 --> 00:11:49.682
Every resource in this community is either a virtual service that you can enjoy in the comfort of your own home or a product that can be shipped right to your doorstep, and everyone in the community is passionate about helping new moms thrive.
00:11:49.682 --> 00:11:58.445
So come on in, explore our virtual aisles, connect with like-minded individuals and immerse yourself in a community that's always here for you.
00:11:58.445 --> 00:12:08.482
Whether you're browsing, making new friends or simply treating yourself, know that this space is yours to return to whenever you need a dose of positivity and empowerment.
00:12:08.482 --> 00:12:13.275
Welcome to a place where you are celebrated, cherished and honored every step of the way.
00:12:13.275 --> 00:12:19.456
Welcome to the Bump and Beyond online community where every mom shines like the superstar she is.
00:12:19.456 --> 00:12:23.058
Join us today and let's build our motherhood village together.
00:12:23.058 --> 00:12:26.623
That's wwwfacebookcom.
00:12:26.623 --> 00:12:42.524
Backslash groups, backslash B-U-M-P N, as in Nancy, b-e-y-o-n-d.
00:12:42.524 --> 00:12:44.788
You can also find the link in the show notes.
00:12:44.788 --> 00:12:48.442
Be sure to say that you heard about us on the Birth Journeys podcast.
00:12:48.442 --> 00:12:50.106
I can't wait to see you there.
00:12:55.566 --> 00:13:02.054
So, now that you've explored your options and figured out what kind of support you want, it's time for one of my favorite parts interviewing doulas.
00:13:02.054 --> 00:13:06.336
And no, that doesn't mean you need a resume or a list of hardball questions.
00:13:06.336 --> 00:13:08.732
Think of this more like a conversation.
00:13:08.732 --> 00:13:13.836
You're looking for someone whose energy feels safe, warm and aligned with what matters most to you.
00:13:13.836 --> 00:13:15.572
You're not auditioning for them.
00:13:15.572 --> 00:13:17.611
They're not auditioning for you.
00:13:17.611 --> 00:13:19.993
You're just seeing if there's a connection.
00:13:19.993 --> 00:13:26.206
So here are some questions you might want to ask to help you figure out if this is the right doula for your birth.
00:13:26.206 --> 00:13:30.195
Not a checklist, not a test, just real talk from one human to another.
00:13:30.836 --> 00:13:31.597
Start with who they are.
00:13:31.597 --> 00:13:33.389
What made them want to be a doula?
00:13:33.389 --> 00:13:36.317
What is their favorite part of being with families during birth?
00:13:36.317 --> 00:13:38.332
How would they describe their vibe?
00:13:38.332 --> 00:13:41.126
More hands-on, more calming and observant?
00:13:41.126 --> 00:13:42.830
Ask about experience.
00:13:42.830 --> 00:13:47.548
What kind of births have they supported Home, hospital, medicated, unmedicated?
00:13:47.548 --> 00:13:54.397
Have they supported clients through inductions or c-sections, and how do they support families when medical needs come up?
00:13:54.397 --> 00:14:00.654
This is a great way to gently screen for doulas who can stay calm and supportive without pushing an agenda.
00:14:00.715 --> 00:14:07.738
If things get more clinical, you want someone who's flexible and respectful of your choices, not someone who sees every intervention as a problem.
00:14:07.738 --> 00:14:19.138
If you're planning a hospital birth or might have one, these next questions are gold Ask if they are comfortable working around hospital equipment if you end up needing an induction.
00:14:19.138 --> 00:14:22.673
Comfortable working around hospital equipment if you end up needing an induction.
00:14:22.673 --> 00:14:28.096
Ask how they typically interact with the hospital staff and what their approach is when there are medical decisions to be made or things start to move quickly.
00:14:28.096 --> 00:14:31.087
You are not looking for someone who's going to fight the hospital.
00:14:31.087 --> 00:14:37.857
You're looking for someone who respects the space, works well with the team and helps you feel steady and informed through the process.
00:14:37.857 --> 00:14:45.634
You can even say something like it's really important to me that my doula supports me in navigating the system and not fighting it for me.
00:14:45.634 --> 00:14:48.693
That kind of clarity can save you a lot of stress later.
00:14:49.585 --> 00:14:50.991
Ask the doula how they communicate.
00:14:50.991 --> 00:14:59.293
What kind of support do they offer before labor, texts, calls, visits, when do they go on call and when do they typically join you in labor?
00:14:59.293 --> 00:15:02.349
Some doulas like to come early and stay for the long haul.
00:15:02.349 --> 00:15:04.595
Others wait until labor is more active.
00:15:04.595 --> 00:15:06.969
There's no right or wrong, just what works for you.
00:15:06.969 --> 00:15:09.114
Ask about your partner or support person.
00:15:09.114 --> 00:15:12.190
How do they help involve your partner or the support team?
00:15:12.190 --> 00:15:15.638
Ask if they guide them or teach them how to support you.
00:15:15.638 --> 00:15:18.370
A good doula doesn't replace anyone.
00:15:18.370 --> 00:15:20.153
They enhance your support system.
00:15:20.153 --> 00:15:22.807
Ask about backups If they're unavailable.
00:15:22.807 --> 00:15:27.288
When you go into labor, who's the person that steps in and can you meet the backup doula ahead of time?
00:15:27.288 --> 00:15:29.373
It's always okay to ask.
00:15:29.373 --> 00:15:32.447
Life happens and you deserve to know who might be stepping in.
00:15:32.447 --> 00:15:38.948
And finally, advocacy how do they help families find their voice when things feel overwhelming?
00:15:38.948 --> 00:15:42.465
What does advocacy look like to them in the hospital setting?
00:15:42.745 --> 00:15:50.754
You want a doula who helps you speak up, not one who speaks over others, someone who honors your choices, your pace and your presence.
00:15:50.754 --> 00:15:53.352
Now, you don't have to ask all of these.
00:15:53.352 --> 00:15:57.535
Just pick a few that feel right for you or important to you and write them down.
00:15:57.535 --> 00:16:01.816
Most of the time, you'll learn the most just from how the conversation flows.
00:16:01.816 --> 00:16:04.413
Do you feel relaxed, empowered, safe?
00:16:04.413 --> 00:16:08.191
That's the feeling you're looking for, and if it doesn't click, that's okay.
00:16:08.191 --> 00:16:09.173
You're not being rude.
00:16:09.173 --> 00:16:13.414
You're just doing what's best for your birth, and that matters, okay.
00:16:13.475 --> 00:16:19.749
Before we wrap up, I wanna touch on something that doesn't get talked about enough Red flags to watch for when interviewing a doula.
00:16:19.749 --> 00:16:21.971
Now, this isn't about being critical.
00:16:21.971 --> 00:16:25.173
It's about protecting your energy, your birth space and your values.
00:16:25.173 --> 00:16:30.597
You deserve support that uplifts and respects you, not someone who brings their own baggage into your story.
00:16:30.597 --> 00:16:40.231
So here are a few things to keep an eye on If a doula speaks negatively about all doctors, nurses or the medical system in general, it might be a sign they're coming in with their own agenda.
00:16:40.693 --> 00:16:45.731
You want someone who supports you, not someone who's using your sacred birth as a platform to fight the system.
00:16:45.731 --> 00:16:51.793
If they give medical advice like straight up telling you to skip a test or adjust a medication, that's a huge no.
00:16:51.793 --> 00:16:54.253
Doulas are not medical professionals.
00:16:54.253 --> 00:17:06.249
It's okay for them to help you, ask questions or to encourage you to return to your provider for more clarification, but they shouldn't be making decisions for you.
00:17:06.249 --> 00:17:17.069
If they say they only show up once you're in active labor or aren't willing to come sooner, even if you need emotional support or reassurance, that might not be the right fit for everyone, especially if you're someone who feels better knowing your support team is nearby early on.
00:17:17.991 --> 00:17:20.977
Another thing it's okay to ask someone about their training.
00:17:20.977 --> 00:17:26.815
Some solid, reputable programs I love include Dona, birth Coach Method and Babo Mia.
00:17:26.815 --> 00:17:28.965
There are many others, of course.
00:17:28.965 --> 00:17:32.034
I recommend training that is more than just a weekend class.
00:17:32.034 --> 00:17:35.369
I recommend something that requires mentorship and hands-on learning.
00:17:35.369 --> 00:17:42.409
Ask where they got their training and then look up the program to see if it's enough to make you feel comfortable that you're in good hands.
00:17:42.409 --> 00:17:50.737
Also, watch for things like making big promises like I'll make sure you don't get a c-section or you won't need an epidural if I'm there.
00:17:50.737 --> 00:17:56.766
No one can guarantee that, and you deserve someone who's honest and supportive, not selling you a fantasy.
00:17:56.766 --> 00:18:04.137
And lastly, if they talk over you, brush off your concerns or seem dismissive of your partner or family, that's a red flag too.
00:18:04.137 --> 00:18:07.970
Your support should never come at the cost of feeling small or ignored.
00:18:07.970 --> 00:18:12.665
The right doula will help you feel heard, safe and strong.
00:18:12.665 --> 00:18:17.798
No pressure, no ego, just steady, grounded support for your vision of birth.
00:18:17.798 --> 00:18:19.931
All right, friend, you've got everything.
00:18:19.931 --> 00:18:22.250
You need to start finding the support that fits you.
00:18:22.550 --> 00:18:25.888
Let's close out with a few final thoughts and encouragement before we wrap up.
00:18:25.888 --> 00:18:29.685
Oh hey, and before we wrap, I want to address something very important.
00:18:29.685 --> 00:18:42.310
We've been talking all about finding the right doula, what to ask, what to look for, but maybe you're sitting there thinking, kelly, I don't know if I'm actually going to hire a doula, but maybe you're sitting there thinking, kelly, I don't know if I'm actually going to hire a doula.
00:18:42.310 --> 00:18:42.612
Is that bad?
00:18:42.612 --> 00:18:42.932
Nope, not at all.
00:18:42.932 --> 00:18:47.194
Listen, you can still have an amazing supported birth even if you don't have a doula.
00:18:47.194 --> 00:18:54.121
Maybe it's not in the budget right now, maybe the timing didn't work out, maybe you just didn't feel a strong connection with anyone you met.
00:18:54.121 --> 00:18:55.021
That's okay.
00:19:00.484 --> 00:19:02.173
Having a doula is awesome, but it's not the only way to feel supported.
00:19:02.173 --> 00:19:04.204
Let's say it this way Having a doula is like having the deluxe snack tray on a long road trip.
00:19:04.204 --> 00:19:08.736
It's super helpful, keeps your spirits up and you'll probably want it again next time.
00:19:08.736 --> 00:19:12.895
But if you don't have it, you can still get there and you're still going to be okay.
00:19:12.895 --> 00:19:18.905
So if you decide not to hire a doula, here are a few things you can do to still feel prepared and strong.
00:19:19.386 --> 00:19:26.934
You can teach your partner or whoever's with you how to support you Things like rubbing your back, breathing with you and reminding you to speak up if something feels off.
00:19:26.934 --> 00:19:39.008
You can write down a few birth preferences, even if they're super simple Not a full-on birth plan with glitter and binder clips, just a few things to help your team know what's important to you.
00:19:39.008 --> 00:19:50.486
If you don't know how to do this, or if you want to do a full birth plan, be sure to listen to my full episode on how to write a birth plan and you can do what you're doing right now Learn, think ahead and connect with someone who helps you feel more ready.
00:19:50.486 --> 00:19:52.893
That's what I do as a prenatal coach.
00:00:00.140 --> 00:00:02.887
00:00:02.887 --> 00:00:04.152
00:00:04.152 --> 00:00:09.651
00:00:09.651 --> 00:00:12.952
00:00:12.952 --> 00:00:19.721
00:00:19.721 --> 00:00:22.847
00:00:23.288 --> 00:00:26.483
00:00:26.483 --> 00:00:32.384
00:00:32.384 --> 00:00:33.628
00:00:33.628 --> 00:00:36.481
00:00:36.481 --> 00:00:42.462
00:00:42.462 --> 00:00:45.106
00:00:45.106 --> 00:01:01.353
00:01:01.353 --> 00:01:10.472
00:01:10.472 --> 00:01:28.034
00:01:28.034 --> 00:01:30.587
00:01:30.587 --> 00:01:32.305
00:01:32.305 --> 00:01:35.087
00:01:35.087 --> 00:01:36.790
00:01:36.790 --> 00:01:39.147
00:01:39.147 --> 00:01:41.102
00:01:41.602 --> 00:01:46.209
00:01:46.209 --> 00:01:49.093
00:01:49.093 --> 00:01:58.792
00:01:58.792 --> 00:02:00.115
00:02:00.115 --> 00:02:07.674
00:02:07.674 --> 00:02:15.334
00:02:15.334 --> 00:02:18.909
00:02:19.560 --> 00:02:28.707
00:02:28.707 --> 00:02:39.165
00:02:39.165 --> 00:02:41.832
00:02:41.832 --> 00:02:47.674
00:02:47.674 --> 00:02:53.628
00:02:54.229 --> 00:02:56.301
00:02:56.301 --> 00:02:57.985
00:02:57.985 --> 00:03:05.740
00:03:05.740 --> 00:03:09.489
00:03:09.489 --> 00:03:14.046
00:03:14.046 --> 00:03:19.229
00:03:19.229 --> 00:03:26.151
00:03:26.151 --> 00:03:38.492
00:03:39.122 --> 00:03:47.141
00:03:47.141 --> 00:03:53.223
00:03:53.223 --> 00:03:56.431
00:03:56.431 --> 00:03:59.165
00:03:59.165 --> 00:04:05.561
00:04:05.561 --> 00:04:10.531
00:04:10.531 --> 00:04:13.745
00:04:13.745 --> 00:04:18.482
00:04:19.463 --> 00:04:26.725
00:04:26.725 --> 00:04:28.569
00:04:28.569 --> 00:04:32.906
00:04:32.906 --> 00:04:35.497
00:04:35.497 --> 00:04:38.264
00:04:38.264 --> 00:04:44.668
00:04:44.668 --> 00:04:47.733
00:04:48.459 --> 00:04:52.190
00:04:52.190 --> 00:04:59.930
00:04:59.930 --> 00:05:03.264
00:05:03.264 --> 00:05:08.915
00:05:08.915 --> 00:05:11.987
00:05:11.987 --> 00:05:16.911
00:05:16.911 --> 00:05:23.425
00:05:23.425 --> 00:05:26.088
00:05:26.088 --> 00:05:27.233
00:05:27.233 --> 00:05:32.047
00:05:32.047 --> 00:05:34.322
00:05:34.322 --> 00:05:37.184
00:05:37.814 --> 00:05:39.661
00:05:39.661 --> 00:05:40.925
00:05:40.925 --> 00:05:42.661
00:05:42.661 --> 00:05:46.923
00:05:46.923 --> 00:05:49.403
00:05:49.403 --> 00:05:55.461
00:05:55.461 --> 00:05:58.026
00:05:58.026 --> 00:06:04.538
00:06:04.538 --> 00:06:12.470
00:06:12.470 --> 00:06:26.180
00:06:26.841 --> 00:06:32.160
00:06:32.160 --> 00:06:37.048
00:06:37.048 --> 00:06:44.800
00:06:44.800 --> 00:06:47.663
00:06:47.663 --> 00:06:57.684
00:06:58.035 --> 00:06:59.341
00:06:59.341 --> 00:07:06.528
00:07:06.528 --> 00:07:12.127
00:07:12.127 --> 00:07:19.524
00:07:19.524 --> 00:07:22.012
00:07:22.012 --> 00:07:23.317
00:07:23.317 --> 00:07:27.935
00:07:27.935 --> 00:07:35.428
00:07:35.428 --> 00:07:40.206
00:07:40.206 --> 00:07:48.189
00:07:48.189 --> 00:07:54.237
00:07:54.879 --> 00:07:56.101
00:07:56.101 --> 00:07:56.983
00:07:56.983 --> 00:08:03.168
00:08:03.168 --> 00:08:12.021
00:08:12.021 --> 00:08:14.908
00:08:14.908 --> 00:08:18.425
00:08:18.425 --> 00:08:23.968
00:08:23.968 --> 00:08:29.704
00:08:30.014 --> 00:08:33.062
00:08:33.062 --> 00:08:34.707
00:08:34.707 --> 00:08:40.605
00:08:40.605 --> 00:08:43.999
00:08:43.999 --> 00:08:50.298
00:08:50.298 --> 00:08:56.604
00:08:56.604 --> 00:08:59.440
00:09:00.042 --> 00:09:04.202
00:09:04.202 --> 00:09:07.798
00:09:07.798 --> 00:09:13.456
00:09:13.456 --> 00:09:16.822
00:09:16.822 --> 00:09:19.817
00:09:19.817 --> 00:09:21.200
00:09:21.200 --> 00:09:24.195
00:09:24.195 --> 00:09:36.317
00:09:36.317 --> 00:09:40.940
00:09:40.940 --> 00:09:42.082
00:09:42.082 --> 00:10:04.268
00:10:04.976 --> 00:10:12.479
00:10:12.479 --> 00:10:14.400
00:10:14.400 --> 00:10:22.109
00:10:22.109 --> 00:10:29.677
00:10:29.677 --> 00:10:39.379
00:10:39.379 --> 00:10:39.681
00:10:39.721 --> 00:10:41.128
00:10:41.128 --> 00:10:49.176
00:10:49.176 --> 00:10:53.967
00:10:53.967 --> 00:10:58.166
00:10:58.166 --> 00:11:03.147
00:11:03.147 --> 00:11:13.506
00:11:13.506 --> 00:11:21.458
00:11:21.458 --> 00:11:24.164
00:11:24.164 --> 00:11:26.941
00:11:27.383 --> 00:11:36.370
00:11:36.370 --> 00:11:49.682
00:11:49.682 --> 00:11:58.445
00:11:58.445 --> 00:12:08.482
00:12:08.482 --> 00:12:13.275
00:12:13.275 --> 00:12:19.456
00:12:19.456 --> 00:12:23.058
00:12:23.058 --> 00:12:26.623
00:12:26.623 --> 00:12:42.524
00:12:42.524 --> 00:12:44.788
00:12:44.788 --> 00:12:48.442
00:12:48.442 --> 00:12:50.106
00:12:55.566 --> 00:13:02.054
00:13:02.054 --> 00:13:06.336
00:13:06.336 --> 00:13:08.732
00:13:08.732 --> 00:13:13.836
00:13:13.836 --> 00:13:15.572
00:13:15.572 --> 00:13:17.611
00:13:17.611 --> 00:13:19.993
00:13:19.993 --> 00:13:26.206
00:13:26.206 --> 00:13:30.195
00:13:30.836 --> 00:13:31.597
00:13:31.597 --> 00:13:33.389
00:13:33.389 --> 00:13:36.317
00:13:36.317 --> 00:13:38.332
00:13:38.332 --> 00:13:41.126
00:13:41.126 --> 00:13:42.830
00:13:42.830 --> 00:13:47.548
00:13:47.548 --> 00:13:54.397
00:13:54.397 --> 00:14:00.654
00:14:00.715 --> 00:14:07.738
00:14:07.738 --> 00:14:19.138
00:14:19.138 --> 00:14:22.673
00:14:22.673 --> 00:14:28.096
00:14:28.096 --> 00:14:31.087
00:14:31.087 --> 00:14:37.857
00:14:37.857 --> 00:14:45.634
00:14:45.634 --> 00:14:48.693
00:14:49.585 --> 00:14:50.991
00:14:50.991 --> 00:14:59.293
00:14:59.293 --> 00:15:02.349
00:15:02.349 --> 00:15:04.595
00:15:04.595 --> 00:15:06.969
00:15:06.969 --> 00:15:09.114
00:15:09.114 --> 00:15:12.190
00:15:12.190 --> 00:15:15.638
00:15:15.638 --> 00:15:18.370
00:15:18.370 --> 00:15:20.153
00:15:20.153 --> 00:15:22.807
00:15:22.807 --> 00:15:27.288
00:15:27.288 --> 00:15:29.373
00:15:29.373 --> 00:15:32.447
00:15:32.447 --> 00:15:38.948
00:15:38.948 --> 00:15:42.465
00:15:42.745 --> 00:15:50.754
00:15:50.754 --> 00:15:53.352
00:15:53.352 --> 00:15:57.535
00:15:57.535 --> 00:16:01.816
00:16:01.816 --> 00:16:04.413
00:16:04.413 --> 00:16:08.191
00:16:08.191 --> 00:16:09.173
00:16:09.173 --> 00:16:13.414
00:16:13.475 --> 00:16:19.749
00:16:19.749 --> 00:16:21.971
00:16:21.971 --> 00:16:25.173
00:16:25.173 --> 00:16:30.597
00:16:30.597 --> 00:16:40.231
00:16:40.693 --> 00:16:45.731
00:16:45.731 --> 00:16:51.793
00:16:51.793 --> 00:16:54.253
00:16:54.253 --> 00:17:06.249
00:17:06.249 --> 00:17:17.069
00:17:17.991 --> 00:17:20.977
00:17:20.977 --> 00:17:26.815
00:17:26.815 --> 00:17:28.965
00:17:28.965 --> 00:17:32.034
00:17:32.034 --> 00:17:35.369
00:17:35.369 --> 00:17:42.409
00:17:42.409 --> 00:17:50.737
00:17:50.737 --> 00:17:56.766
00:17:56.766 --> 00:18:04.137
00:18:04.137 --> 00:18:07.970
00:18:07.970 --> 00:18:12.665
00:18:12.665 --> 00:18:17.798
00:18:17.798 --> 00:18:19.931
00:18:19.931 --> 00:18:22.250
00:18:22.550 --> 00:18:25.888
00:18:25.888 --> 00:18:29.685
00:18:29.685 --> 00:18:42.310
00:18:42.310 --> 00:18:42.612
00:18:42.612 --> 00:18:42.932
00:18:42.932 --> 00:18:47.194
00:18:47.194 --> 00:18:54.121
00:18:54.121 --> 00:18:55.021
00:19:00.484 --> 00:19:02.173
00:19:02.173 --> 00:19:04.204
00:19:04.204 --> 00:19:08.736
00:19:08.736 --> 00:19:12.895
00:19:12.895 --> 00:19:18.905
00:19:19.386 --> 00:19:26.934
00:19:26.934 --> 00:19:39.008
00:19:39.008 --> 00:19:50.486
00:19:50.486 --> 00:19:52.893